dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
