Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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