and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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