i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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