Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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