Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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