1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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