Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
