every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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