this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
