i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
