It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
