IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
