I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
