Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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