when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
