shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm at about main and main street
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
