never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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