so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
