I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
