I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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