Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
