sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
