I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
