last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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