I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
