Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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