the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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