He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
third nipple confirmed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
