Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
