i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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