We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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