I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
my poor anus
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
