i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize