I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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