i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
