His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize