I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
