I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
