Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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