brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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