Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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