Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
