Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
