This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
