Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
