she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
