I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
