I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
