Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
