Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
whose ass print is on the piano?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
