it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
