Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
