The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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