Ambien. No doubt about it.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
