Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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