Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
