btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize