Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
