New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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