have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
