We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
