We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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