Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
